At 5 years old, I wanted to be a teacher. At 10, a veterinarian. At 15, a writer. At 20, a PR professional. Clearly, my “dream job” has changed a lot since I was a kid. It’s natural. It’s expected. But for some reason, once we reach a certain age, change suddenly feels scary, as if we’ve committed to one dream, one path, one idea of ourselves, and it’s too late to try something new.
But GIRL, let me tell you this — it’s NEVER too late to change.
I’ve been single pretty much my whole life (except for a brief three months last summer). So when it comes to talking about being you’re single… I’m practically an expert on the subject.
FACT: This was my 22nd Valentine’s Day, and I’ve still never actually celebrated it with a significant other. Needless to say, it’s easy to feel bitter, or even… ashamed.
For a long time, I was embarrassed because I’d been single MY WHOLE LIFE. Something must be wrong with me, right? There must be a reason no one likes me. Everyone else is falling in love and getting married and I’m alone, just as I’ve always been.
I thought for sure the solution was to date someone. That would solve all my internal struggles!
Plot twist that I’m sure NONE of you saw coming — it didn’t help. Even after having a relationship under my belt, I still had the same lingering feelings of inadequacy and shame and worry. Suddenly, here I am. Single… AGAIN.
It can be difficult. Sometimes I feel like the ONLY one left without a date. I find myself scrolling through Instagram and seeing an endless stream of cute couple posts. Through it all, I sit on the outside and watch as everyone celebrates something I don’t quite fit into. Even if I’m not looking for a relationship, it hurts feeling left out.
But GIRL, trust me when I say that if you can relate, you are not alone. There are SO many other people out there who have never dated and feel like they’re falling behind. In fact, during our latest workplace event at WebFX, a guest shared the lie she’s trashing: that she needs a relationship to feel complete. Remember that there is no timeline for living life and falling in love. It happens differently for everyone, and your day will come if that’s what you want.
There is NOTHING wrong with you.
Remember that your value does NOT change with your relationship status. Being in a relationship is not “better” than being single. Just different. And it’s also not everyone’s ultimate goal. For some people, they don’t want a relationship, and that’s EQUALLY as exciting!
If that’s you, then find a way to celebrate yourself and the relationships you HAVE built. Maybe that’s the relationships you have with your friends, your family, your pets, your plants, or yourself. All of these are valuable and deserve to be celebrated (yes, even the plants). Eat your favorite food, dance to your favorite song, wear your favorite outfit, and remember that you are WHOLE and VALUABLE and SUCCESSFUL all on your own!
There is NO shame in being single. There is no right and wrong way to celebrate the people you love.
If you’re looking to grow your circle, check out our Confidence Coaching COMMUNITY where like-minded women come together for connection, inspiration, and dream-achieving resources!
who is the author, April?
April Hooper is a public relations student at Messiah University, minoring in marketing and gender studies. She always has a coffee in hand and is rocking a thrifted outfit with handmade accessories. When she graduates, she dreams of living abroad, owning as many cats as possible, and writing for a living.
I’m a senior in college and like every other senior in the world, I get this question at least once a week: What do you want to do after you graduate? I get it from my family members, peers, bosses, and everyone in between. I wish that I had a good answer for them, but all I do is shrug and say, “I don’t know yet.”