It’s wild – even when I spell it out like that, it’s crazy to believe yet I am SO confident that this is meant for me! In fact, it’s proven me right in my stance that every loss, heartbreak, and difficult conversation empowers me and you not only to be a better version of ourselves, but an inspiration to our community too.
But come on, I know you’re waiting for the TEA on how *exactly* this happened so GIRL….here we go!
But before I REALLY dive in, can I just say I’m sorry for not sharing this with you sooner? And by “this” I don’t just mean that I’m a guest on the show. By “this” I mean I’m sorry I haven’t shared with you the inspiring story of how my deepest, darkest moments have not only led to me appearing on The Drew Barrymore Show but have led to my career of cultivating THIS COMMUNITY too.
I think the best place to start with this story is to tell you that every time I’m asked about my motivation to start Ditch the Clique, I always say it’s thanks to the women who have empowered me in the moments I believed the lie “this is all the further I’ll go…” Because I truly believed that.
In fact, almost 10 years ago when my life and dreams went up in flames, I really believed that was the end for me.
Let me explain…
Over the course of many years following the recession of 2007/2008 my family slowly (and painfully) lost our home to foreclosure, had our cars repossessed, and worse….we lost my mom. When our world fell apart, she left….and with her went my trust, confidence, and ability to dream too. To be honest, I felt robbed of all the dreams I had so vividly dreamt and I blamed my mom who (for as long as I can remember) empowered me with resources and relationships to to dream those dreams.
Until this point she had walked beside me, so how could she now take that dream away?
For YEARS to follow I blamed HER for everything, allowing myself to feel sorry for my circumstances. But it was in those very dark moments of blame that I remembered one of the greatest resources she ever game me – the ability to recognize just how powerful I am to make a change and live my dream.
So that’s what I did. I began using the tools she had empowered me with throughout my childhood and young adult years. I! MADE! MOVES! I made it my personal mission to leverage every set back as a stepping stone and strategically sought out relationships that held me accountable to my dreams- especially when I started believing those lies again (sounds a lot like Ditch the Clique’s one on one Confidence Coaching, huh?) And GIRL, slowly but surely I came up out of that darkness…I changed my life, the lives of those around me, and I achieved MORE than the dreams my mom and I had dreamt for me.
But what about her?
To be honest, over that decade I grew very comfortable placing blame on her. Because even though I knew deep down everything that happened was not in her control and not a result of her leaving my dad, brother, and I, it was easier for those problems to have a face and a place for blame. But GIRL, that empowered community I built around me…well, they reminded me otherwise. And they were right!
Now I know you won’t LOVE this but I’m not going to tell you exactly how our story continues. Because, GIRL you deserve to see for yourself in our mother-daughter sit down with Drew Barrymore where we deep dive into our journey to reconciliation. WHY? Because I promise, it will not only inspire you to face those difficult conversations that keep you from moving forward, but will empower you with tools to overcome YOUR darkest moments and the lies YOU tell yourself too.
If for nothing else, I am confident my vulnerability in FINALLY opening up with the details of our story will empower YOU to use your circumstances as means to live your dream too!
To be honest, I think now is the best time to say thank you. Thank you Drew for being incredibly authentic and for creating the space for difficult conversations around difficult conversations in mainstream media. Thank you to my production team at CBS for making my mom and I comfortable in sharing our story. Thank you to my mom for being brave enough to publicly have a conversation like this with me. Thank you to ME for reaching the max level of uncomfortablity and having the confidence to walk through the door. And thank YOU! Thank you for continually supporting me in my journey to connect, inspire, and empower YOU to live your dream life too. It’s because of YOU opportunities like this exist and for that I am eternally grateful.
For a deep dive into my experience on the show and a behind the scenes point of view, stream the latest episode of Ditch the Clique’s REAL Women Podcast here.
And if you’re looking for an empowering community to hold you accountable to your dreams (in both your darkest and brightest moments) consider joining Ditch the Clique’s one on one Confidence Coaching for under $100 here.
who is Rachel?
Rachel K. Grim is the Brooklyn New York based blogger, speaker, and empowerHER behind the event series and online community Ditch the Clique. In 2019 Rachel launched Ditch the Clique to empower REAL women of all ages, races, sizes, and careers with goal-getting resources to live the life they dream! When she’s not scheming new ways to grow the Ditch the Clique COMMUNITY, Rachel can be found eating and shopping her way through New York City, traveling abroad, or watching binge-worthy reality television (with a glass of prosecco in hand, of course)!
Follow Rachel @rachelkgrim