How I’m feeling after one year of marriage…

And just like that, I’m celebrating my first wedding anniversary…WILD! It honestly feels like just yesterday my best friend and I were being married by my dad at an intimate Central Park ceremony surrounded by 25 of our closest family and friends. And as much as I’ve always hated when women say “my wedding was the best day of my life” it really, truly was.

But as mentioned in my post 8 Years Later I (FINALLY) Married My Best Friend (but it wasn’t always easy), it REALLY isn’t always easy. We’ve had our moments and guess what? We still do! We’ve never been ones to do things traditionally— we told almost no one about the wedding, and at times felt as though people and finances were against us. Hell, just months before the wedding we felt “against” each other as we sorted through “are you really my one and only, forever?” And I know…that’s hard to read (and I promise, even harder to write) but I say it because 1. It’s the truth and 2. People just don’t talk about THAT very important and trying part of marriage.

You see, we get so caught up in the wedding that we forget about the marriage! But we can’t blame ourselves really…we’re led to believe the societal lie that a wedding is a huge elaborate display of perfect love, and NEWSFLASH…love isn’t perfect! Life isn’t perfect! The truth is, that’s not real. In fact, if I’ve learned anything in my first year of marriage it’s that it’s anything but perfect.

I once heard someone say “if you want things to be easy, don’t get married, because marriage is hard work” and it really is. I mean, all things considered (even Covid) we’ve had an AMAZING and memorable first year of marriage. But that doesn’t mean we don’t work really hard at it EVERY day. Marriage means being willing to put someone else’s needs and dream to the level of importance as your own. And to be honest that’s selfless and a real challenge some days. But there is something about loving someone so much (and so badly wanting to see their happiness and success both with and without you) that makes it so, so worth it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I was both right and wrong about my feelings and hang ups toward marriage. This first year of marriage has proven me right in that it won’t be easy. And that at times you think “well this decision would be a lot easier on my own” (again, I know, hard to read but the truth no one says). But it has also proved me right that it really COULD work if I really tried. And proved me right in that though the wedding day may have been the best, there are so many more best days beyond it.

So in dedication to my best friend, the power to my couple, my husband, my B, here are 12 moments that are my favorite from that best day and beyond!

1. You being the one and only person to unapologetically holding my sweaty hands every chance you get.

2. You falling asleep with a McDonald’s chicken nugget IN YOUR MOUTH on our wedding night (if that’s not us I don’t know what is!)

3. Kissing on the subway, on our wedding day AND every day.

4. The meatballs we ate for WEEKS to come following our Meatball Shop reception.

5. The feeling we both admit to having every time we hear “Yellow Lights” by Harry Hudson.

6. Seeing you wear THAT ring.

7. The fact that the struggle we faced pre-marriage has provided us incredible wisdom when speaking to others on whether or not to move forward in a relationship.

8. How confidently you call me your wife.

9. Your glowing blue, tear filled eyes as my brother walked me down the “aisle” (or the WRONG stone and stick covered path really LOL) to Lauv’s stripped down version of “I Like Me Better”

10. Your wild heart exclusively for me.

11. How calm you are in life’s craziest moments (like when we accidentally went off roading with our rental Prius cliff-side during our honeymoon in Greece!)

12. Your ability to keep me calm and show me so much love with a single glance.

And I could share dozens more. But instead, let’s go make so many more! I love you so stupid much B— then, now, and always. Happy first anniversary.

Oh & GIRL, I’d love for you to follow along here at A Grim Sense of Style AND Ditch the Clique! Plus, subscribe to my newsletter and follow me on Instagram for more inspiring stories and empowering words!

All photos courtesy of Victoria Saperstein photography

4 thoughts on “How I’m feeling after one year of marriage…

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